A bad time for senioritis.

Although my case of high school senioritis was about as bad as it gets--especially considering I only had four classes and then a "work study" babysitting the three cutest children alive--my college case started quite early.  I think it hit the fourth week of this semester, which is quite unfortunate considering this is my hardest semester of college yet.  I decided to take 18 credits this semester so that I only had to take 14 my final semester here.  I also decided to finish all of my requirements this semester so that next semester would be even easier.  Basically, I made this semester kind of difficult for myself.  But despite this semester's difficulty, I've managed to be a little lazy.  Don't get me wrong, I still get all of my work done--both on time and to the highest standards--but I just can't stay as focused as I have the past three years. 

I don't really know why it is either.  Granted, I'm definitely itching to get out of college but I also have become very accustomed to the safe little bubble of college.  It just seems that there is always something better on TV or one of my friends is doing something more interesting than sitting down and studying.  For example, I planned on having a hardcore study sesh when I got home fromm work last night but instead I found myself watching Sydney White (a awfully good Amanda Bynes movie that I have already seen...twice) and then going to bed at about 9:30.  I also generally spend my slow Sunday's at work flipping through my Art History flashcards, but today I bought InTouch and read up on my celebrity gossip.  It truly is horrible.  

So now my first exam is in less than 24 hours and I have LOTS of studying to do.  But then again, I calculated my grade and there is no chance that i can get below an AB.  So is it worth it for me to cram tonight to get that A?....because I did see that John Tucker Must Die was on TV...

 I just keep telling myself that I just need to get through my three exams this week and then it's off to sunny Mexico but it still seems like years from now!  

And then, what am I supposed to do next semester?  Luckily, I only have 5 classes--two of which I get to take pass/fail, one is with my favorite professor, and another is on my favorite topic (20th century European art).  Either way, I have no doubt that senioritis will kick in even harder next semester, especially since I packed all five classes in on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  

Even though I am very excited to graduate, I have a feeling (and my mom keeps telling me!) that I will be very sad to leave. 

...maybe I'll try to fail a class next semester and stay a little longer. 

...unfortunately, I don't think I could fail a class if I tried.

15 Minutes to Go

“Ok, I’ve been here for four hours and 45 minutes…ugh, I have to make it to five hours, at least. Oh, but I want to go home and eat something unhealthy as a reward for doing my work. No, stay here for a bit longer, go home and run for a half hour, then eat cookie dough with the roommates. Then do a bit of studying in my room…maybe.”
This is a typical dialogue that my conscience has while I’m holding my mind and body hostage in the library for extended amounts of time. Though by now I’ve found my favorite spots around campus and move from one to another quite frequently, there is only so much my mind can take. If I start by doing a bit of Spanish homework at my apartment, then go to Grainger to find an empty room for some English writing, followed by poli sci reading in Memorial Library, and a bit more ILS reading on the second floor of Memorial Union, while signing choir songs inbetween, I can usually catch my body’s movements up with my mind’s. But, when I’m sitting here, in the same chair, allowing myself one bathroom break, I get a little crazy.
Now, I’m not saying this as if my brain pain is unique. We are all students at a Big 10 University, and let’s face it: high school homework didn’t quite compare us for this. I’m just writing this as a release for my current state of “Please studying, get in my brain and let me go home!”ness. But, home holds so many distractions, especially for a mind that is looking to procrastinate.
This semester’s Finals Week is actually being pretty nice to me. The week and a half before were a bit rough, but now that’s done. Though I do catch myself thinking that I should read that certain article again, I quickly and happily remember that class is over and if I haven’t reviewed things by now, it’ll be of no use, because I already took that test and did that paper! Sorry, rambling: a common feature of the last week of the semester.
I’ve only been at this particular library for a little over two and a half hours, but for this study stretch I’m aiming for three hours, and then it’s time for a change. It’s strange because as the semester progressed I felt more and more in my college grove; that studying and tests and papers and projects were just the normal thing. But, as finals drew closer, my body decided to let all my late nights catch up with me. Boo that! But there is sleep in sight, for in less than a week I’ll be sleeping in my own big bed and waking up to my mom asking me if I want pancakes or waffles and fruit for breakfast. Ah, the first days home.
But, what about after college? I guess when I’m in the ‘real world’ there won’t be big tests at the end of a 15 week stint of work, and I won’t have a month long break to do absolutely nothing related to my full-time profession, with is currently the statutes of student. Well, I just won’t think about those days too much, because as hard as being a Badger sometimes is, there are so many more advantages of being here with so many crazy cool people. Oh, and will you look at that; I’ve been here for three hours. Cookie dough, here I come!

my favorites of film and television

I love television and film. But I do not like reality shows, because they take away from the art of creation (plus, I don't enjoy seeing the most despicable, idiotic, and ignorant that humanity has to offer). But here is a list of my favorite shows and movies, as well as some descriptions and quotes.

Television
Friends - A unique dynamic of six different personalities made this show as popular as it was. I find that the rewatchability is high, especially with ten seasons to choose from. - "You have to stop the Q-Tip when there's resistance. "

How I Met Your Mother - This is an amazing show. It has some very stereotypical sitcom aspects, but the uniqueness of the dialogue really sets it apart. - "Suit Up!"

Seinfeld - A show about nothing, but one that somehow mixed the ridiculous with the ordinary. - "It's a Festivus miracle!"

The Simpsons - A show that is way past its prime (Its glory days were seasons 3-9). I haven't watched a new episode in two years, but I still regularly watch those from the aforementioned glory days. The show is a beautiful parody of the family sitcom and satire of television in general. - "I've said it before and I'll say it again: Democracy simply doesn't work."

Futurama - This is basically what The Simpsons would be if it didn't have to be grounded in reality. It is sad that this show was cancelled, but the new feature length movies are great. Plus, since it ended in its prime, it wont have a chance to go past its prime. - "Fly the white flag of war."

Honorable mentions - Arrested Development, Entourage, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Lost, The Office, The Venture Bros.


Movies
The Princess Bride - I watched this movie more than any other when I was young and I like it even more now that I am older. But I will let the tagline say the rest: Heroes. Giants. Villains. Wizards. True Love. - Not just your basic, average, everyday, ordinary, run-of-the-mill, ho-hum fairy tale. - "Have fun storming the castle!"

The Big Lebowski - One of the funniest movies that I have ever seen. Not only is this due to the vision of the Coen Brothers, but also because of great performances by Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, and Steve Buscemi. - "Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon, with nail polish."

Signs - I am always interested in exploring the mysteries of extra-terrestrials. The movie has a good mix of suspense and comedy, and an interesting take on faith and coincidence. Plus, unlike The Sixth Sense, I enjoy the movie more each time I watch it. - "Everybody in this family needs to just calm down and eat some fruit or something."

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - This is a movie that can simply make you laugh with one viewing and pull at your heartstrings with another viewing. Bill Murray is amazing, it has the music of David Bowie (sometimes sung by Bowie and sometimes translated into Portuguese), and Wes Anderson's unique style of direction. I just cannot think of anything bad to say about it. - "I'm going to fight it, but I'll let it live. What about my dynamite?"

The Dark Knight - I am somewhat apprehensive of putting such a recent movie on this list, but this one was too magnificent to leave out. I love the Batman universe. That aside, this movie blew me away with its great script, attention to detail, and oscar-caliber acting. I honestly think that it will be a travesty if Heath Ledger does not win an Academy Award. On the surface it is a blockbuster comic book movie, but it makes some compelling statements about good and evil and human nature in a society of chaos and fear. - "See, I'm not a monster, I'm just ahead of the curve. "

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade - Without a doubt my favorite movie of all time. It has a good amount of action, a superb score, Sean Connery, and just the right amount of silliness. It is not trying to be the greatest movie of all time, it is just trying to entertain. Plus, Nazis are the ultimate villains. - "You call this archaeology?"

Honorable Mentions -
As Good as it Gets - "People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch"
Die Hard - "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker"
Ferris Bueller's Day Off - "Bueller?... Bueller?... Bueller? "
Jurassic Park - "Hold on to your butts."
Vanilla Sky - "Without the bitter, baby, the sweet just ain't as sweet."
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory - "It happens every time: they all become blueberries."

Tell Us What You Thought!

A bit about Fair Trade, organic/local produce, and eco-friendly take-out containers.

the butterfly.

In 1942, Pavel Friedman wrote “The Butterfly” from Terezin Concentration camp. The power of this twenty-one year old Jewish man’s words exemplifies the juxtaposition of hope and horror that the victims of the Holocaust experienced. I was exposed to this poem as a young girl when my Dad brought home “I Never Saw Another Butterfly”—a collection of children’s poems and drawings from Terezin between 1942-1944. His words moved me instantly: “The last, the very last, / so richly, brightly, dazzlingly yellow.” It wasn’t until my elementary school choir sang the words to music, however, that I fully realized the beauty and sadness in Friedman’s verses.
The kairos in which the poem was written makes it even more compelling. If these words were written by someone who did not experience a ghetto or concentration camp first-hand, they would not have the same powerful effect. The fact that Friedman was “penned up inside this ghetto” while he wrote these words also increases their effect. The combination of optimism and fear in his verses creates an extremely emotional dynamic which she wrote as a personal mantra—possibly not even meant to be read by anyone, let alone millions.
The genre of these words—a personal exploration of hope within captivity—allows the reader to have this very intimate view of a young man’s experience. This intimacy we get from Friedman enhances the power of his spiritual words. The form of a poem also helps develop her words since I believe that a different format would not evoke the same simple naivety and wisdom as her brief verses. His four verses vary in length and do not seem to follow any pattern but their rhythm is undeniable. His words undulate between hope and sadness creating a very emotional dynamic.
There is something about poetry that has the ability to emit such emotion in such a short work and that is definitely the case in “The Butterfly”. The first two verses vaguely describe the beauty of a butterfly but still manage to capture the reader’s attention. The third verse allows the reader to have a glimpse into the hope Pavel has within the ghetto and ends by telling the reader that the beauty he is speaking of is in fact, a butterfly. The final verse sadly kills all hope by stating that “That butterfly was the last one. / Butterflies don’t live here, in the ghetto”. The ending of this poem is so powerful since it confirms that Friedman’s world is truly void of any beauty and therefore void of any hope. Although he claims he sees the beauty in a dandelion—which symbolizes the same yellow of the butterfly—one must ultimately remember that it is a weed.
Friedman’s poem evokes the sadness of the Holocaust to the reader. He is clearly able to do this because of the form of his words. The symbolism of hope and beauty that he uses would not be as affective in another form like prose. The brevity of the work leaves the reader with chills and uncertainty—a similar emotion that Friedman undoubtedly felt.

I am My Woman

“It's in the reach of my arms the span of my hips, the stride of my step, the curl of my lips. I'm a woman.”
These lines in the first section of Maya Angelou’s poem “Phenomenal Woman” are recognizable to most. We read the rhymes in high school English class and interpreted them with guidance from the teacher. But, that is the exact opposite of what this poem represents. It is about individual beauty that is known but not vain.
I first read this poem with a new understanding during my first few months here at UW as a freshman. I realized that Ms. Angelou was talking for herself yes, but she was becoming the voice that many disillusioned girls didn’t use. We are taught as young girls not to get dirty in the mud with the boys because it’s not lady-like. We are clothed with modesty that accentuates our femininity. We are squeezed into Society’s ‘average’ size two jeans. No, not this woman.
Maya Angelou is a sturdy, curvy, beautiful woman, and she knows it. And imagine, with all she had to go through as a child, to still be able to recognize herself as stunning! When she wrote this poem I like to imagine that she stood in front of a full length mirror, completely bare to be scrutinized, and saw what she really was: “sunshine” and “fire” and “joy.” She did not see the abusive childhood, or the quiet rapes. She saw herself.
This is what we each need to see in the mirror; ourselves. Not the athlete some might judge us as, not the skinny shy girl, not the big hipped booty mama of criticism. We should present ourselves as we truly see our own image.
The men Angelou speaks of can’t see what we see, because they are them and we are us, just like we can’t see who they are from their perspective. This Phenomenal Woman’s “mystery” and “flash of teeth” will never offer her secret confidence to her suitors. That confidence is hers because she birthed it, bares it, and breathes it.
This is a defiant piece of writing that makes me want to share my dimples, lengthen my stride, crave my curves. This is me, as I see myself. No matter how I am compared to magazine models or my friends. This is me, with every sparkle of my eyes, swing of my hips, and song of my laugh, this is me. Me.

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/phenomenal-woman/

The Change We Need

“Obama has 297 electoral votes. He’s won.” My roommate sent me this text, and I almost dropped my phone. I was in the silent section of the library, painfully trying to contain my ecstasy.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!
That’s what my mind was screaming, what my knees were bouncing, what my fingers were tapping. Oh my gosh, thank you. thank you Thank You THANK YOU U.S.A.! Maybe the U.S. can finally regain both dignity abroad and support at home.
I know a lot of politicians make many promises when they are campaigning and once in office only implement the policies that will retain them the most support, not necessarily what is the best for the country, the environment, or abroad. But, this time it seems different. This time it appears to me that the changes needed are supported by the majority. This might be because this was the first presidential election I was old enough to participate in. Maybe because I’m in Madison, WI, so the liberal seems like the majority. Or maybe it was the inspiration of the candidate, the times, and the volunteers. Some people took this semester off all over the country in order to entirely devote their time to the Obama campaign. Others sacrificed their homework time in order to Get Out the Vote. And others simply voted; something they had never done before, either because of choice or law. But for whatever the reason, Obama and Biden have brought this nation together at the level 9/11 did, but this time in tears of happiness.
Obama will be inaugurated with a fairly stable mandate which he deserves. He acknowledges those who he has yet to win approval, but he also openly stated in his victory speech that he is EVERYONE’S president. The bumper stickers that read “Not My President” are not the symbols he wants to project. He has made many promises of change, and I believe he will do all he can to follow through. Of course people will criticize him and point out all his mistakes, but I trust that more good will come than bad. I believe with my entire being that this is the Change we all needed. Everyone. I can’t wait to be part of the next four years of U.S. politics. Obama!